Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
