Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
When did angry sex become our thing?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
