Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
