New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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