For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
