I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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