dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
