My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
