All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
