Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
