ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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