Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
