did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he thought i was a dude.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
