after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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