Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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