I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Your cock deserves a montage
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Randomize
