you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Houston, we have a blender
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
