Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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