at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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