my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
