I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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