She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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