I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
