What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
