My nipple is on Facebook.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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