i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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