I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
