: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
