i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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