I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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