Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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