I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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