Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
