You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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