We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she looked like the before picture.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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