How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
