My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
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