You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
