She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I licked your asshole in confidence.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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