nut hugger
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize