"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
