so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
