just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
