I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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