Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We have so much sex to catch up on
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize