my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
