you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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