my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
