community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
