I just saw a hot homeless man
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
