I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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