even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
