she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
