you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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