I am in a vortex of obligation.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
smell my finger.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
