the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
