Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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