I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
