Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
