i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
