I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
