he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
he just fucked me for my cheese.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
