YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
