i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize