Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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