THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
