"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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