wrigley field is MILF paradise
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
