Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
