You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
