i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
