Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
