Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
