I want to stick my p in your. b.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
