apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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