i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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