i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
